Brittani and I decided that the world needed to hear our opinions on the Bachelorette each week. So to all you 9 readers that look at my blog - get ready... this is going to be a good season - and we have a lot to say about it!
The Bachelorette needs to pull a "Biggest Loser" and give these men makeover week.
The amount of pastel v-necks on this show is disturbing. Homosexuals, raise your hands.
Speaking of homosexual, Brooks needs oxygen for "the most pain I've ever felt" a.k.a. fractured finger. You'd think he'd be a better ball handler. We liked you last week, Brooks, but you're a pansy.
"Winning team goes to the after party!" Good one, Des, good one.
Props to Chris and his good shoes for romantic roof time. Sorry your girl isn't too bright. "How did you find this roof?!" Most buildings have roofs, darling.
Private concert? With your other dates watching? Smooth.
The color nude is for lips only, not pants. While we're giving the men makeover week, might as well get her a stylist, too.
Brian, you're in trouble! Your face said it all when your rock-throwing, leather pant-clad girlfriend walked in. Des, you better send him home in the kidnapper van for having another girlfriend, good thing you have fifteen boyfriends to choose from.
Brandon, you have way too much emotional baggage. Hop in that limo and get some counseling, stat. Unless your counselor is going to leave you too.
Intimate group date! Of course the ranch is named "RT."
James, you plan on being Des' hero in your pink v-neck? I think you are going to gallop away on your unicorn.
Juan Pablo, I like you. "We walked in and there was popcorns and stuff!" You have personality and a nice face.
Michael G. Get a stylist on that thing. Your peacock hair landed you a great new nickname.
Oh no! Mikey's developing some roid rage.
Ben's a creep. Every episode needs someone who doesn't want friends. Stop your lurking and head on home, buddy.
Brandon, seriously, counseling is necessary. Maybe he can help you find more tears.
Des, you may have the style of a tuna can, but you're doing something right getting all those men in swimming suits. Props for that.
Some final advice to the men, use the "I don't share this with every girl. We just have a connection." Dear Desiree falls for that one every time.
Until next week.
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