The thing I'm most afraid of, the thing that stops my heart just thinking about it, is losing Rick or one of my children. I honestly don't know if I could survive it. I hate even writing that because I don't want to be tested, I don't want to ever find out if I could actually go on, so putting this down in words scares me also. I follow blogs and face book pages of people who have lost a child or spouse, and a few weeks ago it occurred to me that I do this so that I can see that people really can move forward. I am amazed that parents can get out of bed, and go to work, and smile, and laugh after losing a child. I am in awe that people don't die of a broken heart after losing a spouse. It happens every day, to good people everywhere - and that scares me to death.
The thing I'm most afraid of...death.
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