AFRAID

The thing I'm most afraid of...

The thing I'm most afraid of, the thing that stops my heart just thinking about it, is losing Rick or one of my children.  I honestly don't know if I could survive it.  I hate even writing that because I don't want to be tested, I don't want to ever find out if I could actually go on, so putting this down in words scares me also.  I follow blogs and face book pages of people who have lost a child or spouse, and a few weeks ago it occurred to me that I do this so that I can see that people really can move forward.  I am amazed that parents can get out of bed, and go to work, and smile, and laugh after losing a child.  I am in awe that people don't die of a broken heart after losing a spouse.  It happens every day, to good people everywhere - and that scares me to death.

The thing I'm most afraid of...death.

WHAT DO I DO?

The topic for the Blog Every Day In May Challenge is..

If you couldn't answer with your job, how would you answer the question "What do you do?'

I...

carpool

make lunches

clean clothes

vacuum and dust

ride my bike

sign learning plans

do science fair projects and state projects

pass the football

read

worry

cook

crave sweets (and eat them)

love my husband and children with everything I am

try my hardest to raise good children

FAVORITE QUOTE

Years ago I heard a quote in sacrament meeting by Sister Nadauld.  It has been my favorite quote since that day because when I read it, it inspires me to try and be better - to try and be the woman that my Heavenly Father wants me to be.  I have a LONG, LONG way to go, but I will keep trying.

The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. 

There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. 

There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. 

We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. 

We have enough greed; we need more goodness.

 We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. 

We have enough popularity; we need more purity.

UNCOMFORTABLE

un·com·fort·a·ble  

/ˌənˈkəmfərtəbəl/

Adjective Causing or feeling slight pain or physical discomfort: "athlete's foot is a painful and uncomfortable condition". Causing or feeling unease or awkwardness: "an uncomfortable silence".

Synonyms uneasy - inconvenient - incommodious - awkward

Things that make me uncomfortable...

1- The phone.  For as long as I can remember, talking on the phone has made me feel uncomfortable.  I remember as a teenager paying my little brother $5.00 to cancel an orthodontic appointment for me.  He hadn't hit puberty yet and so they thought he was me!  Thanks again Cory!  But really, almost every time my phone rings I think to myself "should I answer it?".

2- Not thinking about something before it comes out of my mouth.  Example... A few years ago we ran into an old neighbor.  She was with a new man and had a new baby.  Now, to explain myself a little, let's just say she loved the men.  She had a lot of sleepovers with a lot of different people.  But anyway, when she introduced me to this man, the first thing that came out of my mouth... "So, is this your baby?".  How do you recover from that?  I didn't.  I just turned around and walked away before he could even respond.  Uncomfortable - and I seem to do it a lot.

3- Midgets.  I know this is so politically incorrect, but they freak me out.  I mean, I have nightmares about them.  It's wrong, I'll probably have a midget grandchild, but they make me SO uncomfortable.

4- When someone asks me to do something that is SO inconvenient and I can't say no.  You would be surprised some of the things people ask me to do, and in my mind I'm thinking "are you kidding me? Hell no!".  But what comes out of my mouth?  "Um... that should be okay."  Now, a few examples come right to mind, and I won't share them, but I'm not talking about inconvenient  for a day or two, I'm talking about inconvenient for a year.  If I say no it's uncomfortable, and not saying no has and will bring me a lot of uncomfort.  What do ya do???

What makes you uncomfortable???  Summer???

THE CHALLENGE

I'm going to try the Blog Every Day In May Challenge from the blog storyofmylifetheblog.blogspot.com.  You should do it too.  I know, I know, it's May 2nd and I didn't blog yesterday, but as always I'm a day late and a dollar short.  So come be a day late with me!

Today's topic? The story of your life in 250 words or less.

So here goes...

I was born in the 70's to two very loving parents.  I became the middle child, and the only girl in a family full of boys.  Although I love my brothers deeply, I'm sad to say that I'm not close with my family.  I don't remember much about my childhood except for I was terrified of kidnappers - to the point I had ulcers.  In 6th grade I started ice skating competitively, and I think that's what gave me confidence to get over my fears.  I got my first job working at a movie theater when I was 15...oh the stories I can tell about theaters!  Also at 15 I met Rick... he drove in on a motorcycle and out with my heart.  I married young, just 3 weeks after my 19th birthday, and before we knew what happened I was pregnant with Brittani!  She changed my world.  Three years later Nathan joined our little family and my world was changed again.  Our family became complete five years later when Connor decided it was finally time for him to come to earth!  When I look at my husband and children I always wonder how I got so lucky.  My life after kids has been filled with games, meets, concerts, practices, books, laundry, and love.  Two years ago my dad passed away and that was the saddest time in my life.  Last fall Brittani moved away to college and I quickly realized how fast time goes by.  My goal in life now?  To enjoy every minute.

WE ARE STRONG

(CNN) -- Two bombs struck near the finish line of the Boston Marathon on Monday, turning a celebration into a bloody scene of destruction.

Boston Police Commissioner Ed Davis said Monday night that the death toll had risen to three. Scores were injured at the scene.

One of the dead was an 8-year-old boy, according to a state law enforcement source.

Hospitals reported at least 144 people are being treated, with at least 17 of them in critical condition and 25 in serious condition. At least eight of the patients are children.

At least 10 people injured had limbs amputated, according to a terrorism expert briefed on the investigation.

Several of the patients treated at Massachusetts General Hospital suffered injuries to lower limbs that will require "serial operations" in the coming days, trauma surgeon Peter Fagenholz said Monday night. Some injuries were so severe amputations were necessary, Fagenholz added.

I'm always amazed by Americans.  Average, normal, everyday people who become extraordinary in horrible situations.  Bombs will still be set and sadly people will still be hurt and people will still die, but no one can stop heroes from coming forward and making a difference.  No one can stop Americans from helping each other, supporting each other, and overcoming tragedy together.

   

It is reported that some troops ran the Boston Marathon in full military gear weighing over 60 pounds.  When the explosions happened, the troops immediately started treating the wounded.  

Many of the marathon runners, after running 26.2 miles, continued running straight to the hospitals to donate blood.

Many spectators and runners rushed in to help the wounded instead of running away in fear of another bomb.

I'm sure as the days and weeks unfold, we will hear many more stories of heroes.  We will hear how communities have come together and become stronger.  We will hear how people are supporting those that were injured and how people are supporting the families that lost loved ones.  

My heart is broken as I think of what happened, and the heartbreak and loss that so many are feeling, but today I am proud to be an American.  I am proud of the many heroes that think of others, the many heroes that will run to help in any way they can.  

We are strong and we will overcome.

HAPPY 40th RICK!

Brittani put together a book for Rick for his birthday, and in this little book, she gathered 10 things from each of us (40 total) that we love about Rick.  The book turned out perfect, and made a not so perfect birthday a lot better!

So here it is... 40 things we love about Rick:

RICK IS...

Brittani-

He is a good listener.

Strong.

He is the most caring and loyal person you will ever meet.

He spoils us.

Wise.

Honest.

An amazing example.

He's patient.

He is supportive.

Best sense of humor.

He gives us good advise.

He comes to all of our sports competitions, recitals, concerts, science fairs...

Nathan-

He is the least selfish person on this earth.

He always says mom is crazy when she is sitting on his lap but he does nothing to stop it.

He doesn't judge us.

He always is supportive.

One way to make him happy is to talk about bikes.

Anyone can tell that he loves mom like crazy.

He is super proud of the scars on his legs.

He always says no to mom getting treats but always ends up getting them for her anyway.

He is the best and he will let us know he is the best!

Connor-

Fun.

Loving.

Fu Manchu.

Awesome.

Loves us no matter what.

Coaches and teaches sports for us.

Helps you if you need it.

Nice.

Buys us food and clothes.

Handles things well.

Alicia-

Intelligent.

Consistent.

Forever mine.

Funny and fun to be with.

Fiercely protective of our little family.

Place to turn to for counsel and advice.

Good provider and because of that he has offered our children many opportunities to learn and grow and develop their talents.

Amazing inner strength.

I'm a better person when I'm with him.

To the point.

Dear Rick,

Every day they look to you.  They learn from you.  How to be a good person.  How to treat others.  Every day they watch you work.  Every day they see you lead our family.  You have taught them so much, from being honest to serving others.  You have shown them love... love for them and love for me.  You have given them a place to turn to for counsel.  You have taught me how to be a better parent.  Thank you for being their dad and my partner. Every. Single. Day.

I love you always and forever-

Alicia